Beauty products I stole from my baby.

I have a ton of baby products.  Well, not really, I can pretty much get by with a bottle of baby shampoo and occasionally some diaper cream.  I bought a lot of products with Girl because I thought that's what you were supposed to do, and most of them are still kicking around.  Discovering new uses for them is great!  Not to mention, baby products are significantly cheaper than the magic stuff in tiny bottles marketed to me.  Here are some of my favourites:

1. Zinc Oxide Cream:

Great for diaper rash, but even before I had kids I was using this stuff on my feet.  I have terribly rough feet, especially in the summer.  I think it's because, as a rule, I avoid socks like the plague as soon as I can get away with it.  As a result, my feet get chapped, skin peels off, and a few days ago I realized they were so bad they were acting like velcro on our carpets.  This cream works wonders.  Zinc is a healing agent, so it will also help with minor cuts and scrapes (though, I wouldn't use the same container you use for diaper rash...  too easy to cross-contaminate).  Just smear a heavy amount onto the soles of your feet, pull some socks on and go to bed.  By morning you'll see a noticable difference.  For even better results, get out the footfile first.  I've also done this with my hands with wonderful results.

2. Pure Lanolin

If you're like me, you likely bought a bottle of this before nursing...  and most of it is still in the container.  It's so thick and sticky, I pretty much abandoned it after a week or so with Girl, and I think I used it once with Boy.  Here's a great tip...  it's a wonderful lip protector/chapstick/gloss.  I'll admit, I'm kind of addicted to the tingly feeling chapsticks offer, but I'll be using my Lanolin this winter.  It's thick, has a nice subtle gloss, and softens your lips nicely.  (Like my feet, I have always been cursed with dry, chapped lips).

3. Baby Hairbrush

I've bought the microderm abrasion machines too.  Haven't used it in a long time... because now I have a baby hairbrush.  (I had two, so it's not like I was doing double duty between my face and Girl's cradle cap).  Use it gently in circular motions with your favourite cleanser as often as you would normally exfoliate for a soft, glowing face.  Added bonus, you can use it in the tub/shower without the nagging fear of electrocution.

4.  Baby oil

I know the commercials say to use this after you shower to "lock in moisture" and all that jazz...  but I use this as eye makeup remover.  SO much cheaper than any remover you can buy, and since I have a giant bottle with perhaps an inch used, I'll never need to buy makeup remover again.  Apparently baby wipes will do this too, but I can't confirm that one (they'll also take white anti-persirant marks off clothing).

There...  now you can be soft and dewy too (like your baby...  not me).  I have yet to find an anti-aging baby products, but as soon as I get all the ingredients together, I'll give you one of those too!

Curried Ketchup.

If you're like me, those two words sound about as weird together as "purple mustard".  I, however, am a convert.  I tried it once, and was blown away.  Not so blown away as to spend $5 on a small bottle of the stuff, but sufficiently blown away to spend the day attempting to make it myself.  (I have an odd way of looking at cost, I admit it). 

You need a stinking huge pot for this one,  just to warn you.  I borrowed my brother's giant 14L stock pot and let me tell you, I just squeaked it by. 

I found a recipe for Ketchup, and since I can't leave well enough alone, I modified it enough to call it my own.  I don't have a giant surplus of tomatoes (mainly because I really only grow enough to stuff my face with for a few weeks) and I wasn't about to buy fresh tomatoes to make this (the recipe called for 24lbs of them), so I opted for canned.  I'll give you a tip, when you use canned tomatoes instead of fresh...  watch the salt.  I completely forgot that canned tomatoes have salt in them, so when I added the requisite 1/4 cup while reducing the ketchup, I made a fatal error that resulted in me throwing away the whole first attempt.  It was a dismal failure.  I didn't add any salt the second time.

Curried Ketchup (makes about 6 pint jars)

3 Tbsp celery seeds

4 tsp whole cloves

2 cinnamon sticks, broken (each about 4 inches)

1 1/2 tsp whole allspice

3 cups cider vinegar

Make a spice bag with cheesecloth and the first four ingredients.  Put the vinegar in a pot with the spice bag, bring to a boil, then remove from the heat and let steep for 25 minutes.  Discard spice bag.

4 3.8L cans of diced tomatoes

3 large onions, chopped

1 tsp cayenne pepper

Mix tomatoes, onions and cayenne in a large stock pot.  Bring to a boil, stirring regularly, reduce heat and boil for about 15-20 minutes.  Add vinegar, and simmer for about 30 minutes.

(I took this picture during the first trial, I added more tomatoes for the second, so it barely fit in the pot)

Working in batches, either run tomatoes through a food mill, or put them in a strainer and push through with the back of a spoon (I've tried both methods, they are equally tedious) to extract all the liquid.  Return liquid to the pot.

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 Tbsp hot curry powder

2 5.5oz cans tomato paste

Add sugar and curry powder to the liquid and bring to a boil.  Boil until the volume reduces by about half and the liquid is close to the consistency of commercial ketchup (it will be a bit runnier).  Add tomato paste and simmer a few minutes longer.  Also, prepare your jars, lids and canner.

Ladle hot ketchup into jars, leaving 1/2 inch headspace.  Wipe rim, add seals and rings, finger-tight.  Place into hot water canner, process for 15 minutes.

It's got a strong flavour, so if you're expecting Heinz, don't bother.  It's got some heat, but really only enough to warm up your mouth a bit, you won't be sweating.  Also, it's best to do this one with your windows open.  The curry, vinegar and cooking tomatoes really stinks the place up.  I have an "odor eliminator candle"  going right now (thanks Marion!).

Smokin!

In my quest to find interesting things to make food taste better, I stumbled on these:

Basically, smoke in a can.  It's actually technically compressed wood in a can.  You buy a pack of 3 for under $9 (I bought mine from Golda's Kitchen...  I could spend some major coin there), take off the labels and plop one into your propane BBQ, under the grill, just sitting on the burner/coals.  Each one says its good for about 3 sessions on the barbeque, and boy, are they smokin!  Husband thought the grill was on fire...  the most delicious smelling fire ever!  We've made chicken, ribs, and hamburgers so far, but I can't think of anything to put on the BBQ that couldn't use a bit of smokey goodness.  I will warn you though...  don't get the smoke in your eyes.  It burns like campfire!

I have one of those smoker boxes already that do the same thing...  you just have to add your own chips.  But silly me, I left it outside on the BBQ all winter and it rusted to high heaven.  Oops.   This is more my speed. 

They come in Pecan, Alder, Cherry, Apple, Hickory and Mesquite (what is "mesquite" anyway?)

Try it, you'll like it.  Especially if your husband won't let you buy a $300 smoker. 

I have mixed thoughts about purple mustard.

I didn't think about it really.  Cranberry Mustard sounded intriguing, and there wasn't a picture of it to go with the recipe, so I really had no idea what it was going to look like, but lo and behold...  it's purple.

I mean really purple.  See?

I don't know.  Smells like mustard.  I'm not a huge mustard fan, but Husband said it smelled really good.  I'm just confused by looking at it.  I've never thought "you know what this sandwich needs?  a bit of PURPLE!"  That beet horseradish stuff confuses me too.

I digress.  In case you want purple mustard, here is the recipe:

Cranberry Mustard

1 cup red wine vinegar

2/3 cup yellow mustard seeds

Bring vinegar to a boil on high heat, remove from heat and add mustard seeds.  Let soak until they absorb most of the liquid (about an hour).  Prepare jars, lids and canner.

1 cup water

1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

2 3/4 cups cranberries (fresh or frozen)

In a blender or a food processor, combine soaked mustard seeds, water, and Worcestershire sauce, process until they are a desired consistency for mustard (basically, as smooth as you have patience for).  Add cranberries and blend up some more.

I warn you, by this point you might think you've made some sort of smoothie, since it looks like this:

Looks like a smoothie, smells like mustard.  Yummy!

Transfer the mixture to a pot and bring to a boil over medium heat.  (At this point, I added another half cup or so of water...  since it was already pretty thick, and the recipe wanted me to reduce it further.  If I boiled it from the consistency it was, it would have just burned to the bottom of the pan.) 

3/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup dry mustard powder

2 1/2 tsp ground allspice

Whisk in sugar, mustard powder and allspice, continute boiling until volume is reduced and thickened (anout 15 minutes)

Ladle mustard into hot jars, leaving 1/4 inch headspace.  Remove air bubbles, wipe rim and add lids, finger-tight. 

Process jars in hot water canner, ensuring they are completely covered in water.  Process for 10 minutes.

I made Husband try it, and the stuff is tasty, just purple.  I don't know about purple mustard. 

My pantry runneth over.

You should really invite me to dinner.

I love to entertain, so I don't get invited out all that much.  I like to cook, and people seem to like my cooking (since they come back time and again) and honestly, sometimes when I get invited somewhere else, I miss being able to spoil my friends and family.  I came up with a solution...  this is it:

The Host/Hostess Gift!

In my pantry is a shelf of delectables just waiting all Martha-Stewart-style, including (but not limited to) blueberry jam, blueberry sauce, strawberry sauce, strawberry syrup, black velvet apricot jam, raspberry jelly, praline syrup, spiced honey, curried ketchup, and cranberry mustard.  They're even labelled and decorated already!  (btw, I love the idea of using circles of scrapbook paper under the jar rings to add some pizazz)

I'm still planning on adding to this stash, since I have yet to make anything with the chokecherries and highbush cranberries growing on my property, or with my mom-in-law's apples, and I have plans for BBQ sauces and salsas.

I'm going to spoil you if you come to my house or not.  *evil cackle*

Condimentally speaking...

Making condiments is really weird.

I cook a lot, and one of the things you do as a cook is taste, taste, taste.  I've been trying my hand at inventing a recipe for curried ketchup (modifying a standard ketchup recipe and throwing in some curry), and also following a recipe for cranberry mustard (recipes to follow).  My last attempt at curried ketchup was a dismal failure (I'll save that story for later.), so I was diligently tasting my ketchup as it got close to being the right consistency.  I kept sticking in a spoon (a clean one of course), and tasting, and my immediate reaction was always the same "wow, that's a strong flavour"

Well, of course it is, you're not making soup, you're eating ketchup with a spoon.

Next time I'll have to cook up a sausage to try it with.

I have an opinion, and I'm ok with that. Is that ok with you?

*Sigh*

My mom always told me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  I agree wholeheartedly.  Problem is, "nice" has become "agreeable".  I get really tired of the internet sometimes, because it seems as though we have lost the ability to have opinions.  I've spent my fair share of time on Facebook, message boards, blogs, etc, and I've never been one to shy away from offering a contradictory opinion, but I'm starting to learn that everyone just wants everyone to agree with them.

I've been accused of being hostile, "worked up", angry, snide, mean, and my all-time favourite, having my posts deleted because I'm not actually allowed to express my opinion. (meaningful glance at a certain relative) I hate to break it to you people, I have yet to get "worked up" or angry about a Facebook status, and it's not "mean" to have a contrasting opinion.  There is a big difference between saying "you are dumb" and "I don't agree with you".

Maybe it's this culture we have created where praise and adoration is dolled out by the bucketful.  Kids are praised for everything they do, soccer teams don't have winners or losers anymore (so no one feels bad), and all anyone really wants to hear on their Facebook status is "WowAwesomeSuperCoolHigh-five". 

Insert eye roll.

I'm willing to praise and encourage where such things are due, but if you go onto the internet and post an outlandish opinion, you can't honestly expect that everyone is going to think you're amazing.  I found it really interesting that after our recent federal election, the vast number of posts were the same.  Apparently everyone was really upset by the outcome.  I found this strange since the Conservatives did win...  and someone besides myself must have voted for them.  Right, because Facebook can only hold one opinion, and the upset people got there first. 

I really hope to instill a proper sense of balance in my kids.  I don't want them growing up thinking everything they do is praise worthy and that the best course of action is to always just agree with everyone.  I want them to think for themselves and not be afraid to express their ideas.  The popular opinion is not always the right one.  I hope to teach them that a good debate will make them stronger, will allow them to understand different points of view and sharpen their minds.  An opinion is useless unless it has been challenged and has survived.  I'm not so vain as to think I'm always right, and I welcome challenges to my ideas. 

So please, I invite you to engage me, sharpen me, contradict me, take my opinions and try to crush them. 

I, on the other hand will remember to only post non-sensical ditties about how awesome everyone is.