Using the word "Baby" in my facebook status does NOT mean I'm pregnant, but thanks for asking.

It's probably my own fault.  Everyone who knows me knows I haven't been preventing babies since trying to have one with Girl.  Ideally I wanted twins, but when that didn't pan out I decided to go for two as close together as possible.  Well...  here we are, Girl is one and a half and no siblings.  Not even a glimmer.  Apparently I'm one of those people for whom nursing is a foolproof contraceptive, even though Girl slept 12 hours at a time and only ate twice a day (let me clarify, she did eat solids the rest of the time.  I wasn't starving her).

*Sigh*

Of course...  the moment I wear anything with an empire waist, or feel a bit ill, or just glow a little too much, the eyebrows go up and the whispers start.  Trust me, I'm with you.  Every time my chest aches, or I'm feeling a little under the weather, I wonder too.  Unfortunately the ease at which I was able to read my body disappeared when I got pregnant the first time.  In the good old days, I could tell when I ovulated, and was pretty darn sure I was pregnant before taking a test.  Now?  Not so much.  It's annoying.    I've been burping and nauseous for 3 months straight, but does it bother me?

Of course.

I guess I'll just keep trying.  Husband had better get his game face on.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Points.

I try really hard not to be passive aggressive, but I have to admit, my dislike for confrontation and the repercussions of it tend to make me sway a bit into dangerous territory sometimes.  However, I do think that as a society we should put an end to this destructive habit.   I want to be forthright.  To quote Dr. Seuss, you should: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." 

I don't like self-imposed matryrdom.  I don't like guilt imposed on others.  I want people to be straight with me, even if they think it'll hurt, because it means more to me to have honest people around me than maintaining my feelings. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of people telling me they don't like something I said or did, as I'm pretty sure is the case for anyone with a heart.  That said, hear me out.  Perhaps, if we were more outspoken, and really told people how we felt, others would realize their mistakes and perhaps we'd all be better people for it. 

I don't have a lot of trouble seeing through passive-aggressive behaviour.  It's as obvious as bird crap on the windshield.  It's also the easy way out.  It's going to get an eye-roll from me, and a firm determination to avoid change.  I figure, why should I fix something if you're not even going to bother telling me?

As a slight aside...  To anyone out there who thinks I may be speaking directly at them...  if you feel convicted, be convicted, but I assure you, I have no specific person in mind as I write this.  That my friends would be passive aggressive.  I just really want to make a difference here, and I think that changing the way we treat each other will do great things for all of us. 

Let's start being straight with each other.

Two is better than one.

I need to stare at the computer more. 

My mind is full of stories, and I need to get them out before they disappear.  I've always dreamed of being published, but never in my life have I had a story that I felt was really worth telling.

At the moment, I have two, one of which is the start of a three-book series. 

With Girl testing the waters of the Terrible-Twos, combined with renovating my brother's new house and my own household to run, my time is at a premium.  I can only really write when Girl sleeps, but usually by then I'd rather be sleeping too (or savouring a piece of chocolate without little eyes begging me to share.)

I also don't know what to do.  I am 180 pages into book #1 (of the three-book-series), and have committed to a slight variation in style (meaning I need to go back and re-write the parts already written rather than finishing and having to rewrite it all anyway), and here I am, with new inspiration.  Do I table the first book and jump headlong into a new one? (with hopes that I'll be able to come back to it refreshed and renewed, and able to remember what was still to come), or do I continue the path with the first and jot down the ideas for the second to come back to later?

This is new to me.  I'm sure it would be easier to jump back and forth if I wasn't looking at months of naptime writing for each one.  I know if all the problems to have as a writer, "too many ideas" is not a very good one.  It's kind of like saying you have too much money and don't have enough mall-time scheduled.  But, this is my blog, so there.

I have to choose, and I don't know how.