Busy.

I feel like I'm really busy.

I'm not really gainfully employed (and if I ever become so, I hope to leave out the word "employed"), but still there is no end to the to-do list.  There are not enough hours in the day (I do not forfeit beauty sleep, I need every second I can get) or enough caffiene to keep me getting through every task.   The funny thing is, every deadline, every job, and every hour at the computer is 100% self-imposed.  (Well, the personal hygiene parts are imposed upon me by society, but that's ok with me). 

I don't know why I push myself, when others would look at me and say "You know, you don't HAVE to do it".  They don't understand that I DO.  Just because I don't have a boss (other than Girl) nagging me or quotas to fill, my job is being Me.  And Me can't let me have a break.  

I have a strong need to finish things I start.  I'd never be able to live with myself if I don't.  Complacency and laziness aren't qualities in life I'll look back on and think "Hey, that was a good move". 

That said, I also will not sacrifice.  Girl will not live in want of her mom.  Husband will be fed and we'll all sit together and enjoy meals together.   We will be happy, and I will get as much done as I can while they both nap.