Spoiling and It's Downside.

I love entertaining.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  There is nothing that gives me greater joy than spoiling the ones I love.

I however, am cursed with the inability to do things half-heartedly.  I can't seem to manage it.  Recently, I've been taking the extended family on a cultural tour...  Mexico, Greece, Italy soon, I think.  The idea of doing the same things over again is foreign to me.  (Other than the requisite yearly turkey dinners, of course).

Parties are fun.  There was a point where the only times I was calling people this summer was to invite them to another party, but really?  Where is the harm in that?  We should celebrate everything!

My SIL got the "GIANT PARTY" for her 30th birthday (to complete the cycle from the miniature baby shower I threw last year.)

We had Giant Pizza...

Giant Chicken Wings (drumsticks with a few turkey wings thrown in)...

Giant Sandwiches...

and a bunch of Giant Cake...

 
It was a great time! 

The only complication, in my mind, is trying to figure out how to reassure people that I don't expect the same when I'm invited to a party.  I have heard on a variety of occasions, from many people, the sheepish "but mine won't be like yours", or "You'll have to forgive me, I'm not a cook, so I'm ordering pizza". 

What is there to forgive? 

Think of it this way.  If I was a piano player who invited you to concerts on a regular basis...  would I fault you for not being musical?  No.  You are my loved ones, and this is my thing, what I do.  I do it because it's fun for me, and something that I can share with you!

Feel spoiled and don't fret.  I love KD too... and delivery!

Now, who's ready for Husband's birthday?  It's gonna be a good one!

Tales from the side of the road.

Girl makes my heart swell with pride sometimes, as I'm sure all parents can attest to.  She knows her letters, and her numbers up to 10 and now, at 18 months, she is daytime potty-trained (I decided to keep her in diapers overnight, since she sleeps 12 hours and is unable to use the toilet alone).  This is great!  No diapers to change during the day and constant, incessant trips to the washroom from the farthest conceivable distance. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we took the plunge.  My theory is, no matter what age we decided to potty-train, we'd be doing the exact same thing, so might as well get it over with.  But really, do you need to wait unti the least convenient time?  My mom says it's payback for the years of cold food she ate because I'd always need to go right when the food arrived.  I think parents wait for payback.

I suppose I could avoid going places until Girl is able to go on her own, but that would be a boring life.  I'd rather do fun stuff and spend part of the time in the washroom than do nothing and spend part of the time in the washroom. 

My all-time favourite stories happen on the side of the road.  Husband, Girl and I, together with my mom, decided to go to the beach.  It's an hour drive and I had hoped that going during naptime would mean Girl would sleep.  No such luck.  45 minutes into the trip, not a restaurant or gas station in sight, comes the inevitable cry.  Luckily, on a whim I had thrown a small plastic potty into the trunk.  Girl had never used it before, but I had it, and thought it might come in handy.   Husband pulled over, I got Girl from her seat and there she sat, in the sun, on the highway. 

Why just pee when you can do it all?

My mom thought it was hysterical and after we were on our way again asked: "What did you do with the poop?"

"I put it in a ziplock and into the cooler.  What do you THINK I did with it?!"

These are the things memories are made of.  Though, now, whenever Girl is in the car and feels the call of nature...  I hear the same words.  "Little potty.  Road"

Sorry hon.  We can't do that at the mall.

That's Mrs. Homemaker to you.

I've been kind of stuck lately.  I waver back and forth and have yet to make any kind of decision.  I can't decide if society is evolving in a good way or losing respect for our elders. 

As an adult, a mom and a wife, I have many names.  I need to brace myself for the day when people (other than telemarketers) will start to call me Mrs. Homemaker.  I also need to figure out how to deal with the Mr. & Mrs. deal with Girl.  As her vocabulary expands on a daily basis I am torn as to how to deal with this idea.  I am a big believer that we need to respect our elders, but as one of those elders, I'd really rather just be called Suzie. Girl will call the elders in the family by "tante" (aunt) or "uncle", and "oma" for her grandmothers, She will also use the proper address for teachers, etc, but I don't know where the line falls with other people.  I'm not a huge fan of calling people aunts and uncles if they're not related, and I have some friends who might have a coronary if they became Mr or Mrs.

As a chid I remember that there were always some people who went by their first names, regardless.  They were older than my parents, but I don't ever remember calling them Mr. or Mrs.  My friends' parents were a mish-mush.  Some were Mr and Mrs, and others were just first names. 

Of course, I asked my mom how this all worked out.  She told me that for the most part, she let us decide.  If people introduced themselves by their first name, I was under no obligation to call them Mr. or Mrs.  However, if they didn't introduce themselves at all, I was supposed to default to the more proper name. 

I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it.  I may just do as my mom did and let the chips fall where they may.   I understand the whole respect thing, but as someone who would rather be addressed by her given name, I don't see how addressing me as Mrs. is respecting me.  Maybe I secretly don't want to grow up, or maybe I just prefer people to be a bit more casual around me. 

Granted, this is coming from the person who usually just makes eye contact and starts talking when her mother-in-law is in the room.  I've been trying to cough out "Mom"...  I really have. 

I guess if I still have a ways to go in this respect, I can't expect to have Girl get it all right, at least not right away.

Using the word "Baby" in my facebook status does NOT mean I'm pregnant, but thanks for asking.

It's probably my own fault.  Everyone who knows me knows I haven't been preventing babies since trying to have one with Girl.  Ideally I wanted twins, but when that didn't pan out I decided to go for two as close together as possible.  Well...  here we are, Girl is one and a half and no siblings.  Not even a glimmer.  Apparently I'm one of those people for whom nursing is a foolproof contraceptive, even though Girl slept 12 hours at a time and only ate twice a day (let me clarify, she did eat solids the rest of the time.  I wasn't starving her).

*Sigh*

Of course...  the moment I wear anything with an empire waist, or feel a bit ill, or just glow a little too much, the eyebrows go up and the whispers start.  Trust me, I'm with you.  Every time my chest aches, or I'm feeling a little under the weather, I wonder too.  Unfortunately the ease at which I was able to read my body disappeared when I got pregnant the first time.  In the good old days, I could tell when I ovulated, and was pretty darn sure I was pregnant before taking a test.  Now?  Not so much.  It's annoying.    I've been burping and nauseous for 3 months straight, but does it bother me?

Of course.

I guess I'll just keep trying.  Husband had better get his game face on.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Points.

I try really hard not to be passive aggressive, but I have to admit, my dislike for confrontation and the repercussions of it tend to make me sway a bit into dangerous territory sometimes.  However, I do think that as a society we should put an end to this destructive habit.   I want to be forthright.  To quote Dr. Seuss, you should: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." 

I don't like self-imposed matryrdom.  I don't like guilt imposed on others.  I want people to be straight with me, even if they think it'll hurt, because it means more to me to have honest people around me than maintaining my feelings. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of people telling me they don't like something I said or did, as I'm pretty sure is the case for anyone with a heart.  That said, hear me out.  Perhaps, if we were more outspoken, and really told people how we felt, others would realize their mistakes and perhaps we'd all be better people for it. 

I don't have a lot of trouble seeing through passive-aggressive behaviour.  It's as obvious as bird crap on the windshield.  It's also the easy way out.  It's going to get an eye-roll from me, and a firm determination to avoid change.  I figure, why should I fix something if you're not even going to bother telling me?

As a slight aside...  To anyone out there who thinks I may be speaking directly at them...  if you feel convicted, be convicted, but I assure you, I have no specific person in mind as I write this.  That my friends would be passive aggressive.  I just really want to make a difference here, and I think that changing the way we treat each other will do great things for all of us. 

Let's start being straight with each other.

Two is better than one.

I need to stare at the computer more. 

My mind is full of stories, and I need to get them out before they disappear.  I've always dreamed of being published, but never in my life have I had a story that I felt was really worth telling.

At the moment, I have two, one of which is the start of a three-book series. 

With Girl testing the waters of the Terrible-Twos, combined with renovating my brother's new house and my own household to run, my time is at a premium.  I can only really write when Girl sleeps, but usually by then I'd rather be sleeping too (or savouring a piece of chocolate without little eyes begging me to share.)

I also don't know what to do.  I am 180 pages into book #1 (of the three-book-series), and have committed to a slight variation in style (meaning I need to go back and re-write the parts already written rather than finishing and having to rewrite it all anyway), and here I am, with new inspiration.  Do I table the first book and jump headlong into a new one? (with hopes that I'll be able to come back to it refreshed and renewed, and able to remember what was still to come), or do I continue the path with the first and jot down the ideas for the second to come back to later?

This is new to me.  I'm sure it would be easier to jump back and forth if I wasn't looking at months of naptime writing for each one.  I know if all the problems to have as a writer, "too many ideas" is not a very good one.  It's kind of like saying you have too much money and don't have enough mall-time scheduled.  But, this is my blog, so there.

I have to choose, and I don't know how.

Creative Floodgates

I don't know what it is... but sometimes it feels like I've inadvertantly opened the floodgates.  I'm not really sure how to stop them.

I have always considered myself a creative person.  As a child my biggest goal in life was to be a writer.  I loved imagining, creating, art, photography, music, and everything typical of the right-brained among us.   As an adult, that started to disappear.  I still felt I was creative, but the daily grind of life, work and home took over.  It was not the time for creativity. 

Recently, I have had the chance to embrace that part of my brain again.  Perhaps it is motherhood and being thrust into a world of constant make-believe.  Maybe it's the hours spent nursing a baby and needing my mind to stay active.  Whatever the cause, I am now unable to keep up with my brain.   Suddenly I have found the stories I looked for earlier in my life (when I would have had more time to write).  Not only that, I have more stories than I know what to do with.  I am seeing the world differently and finding my way in this new place.

I know I need to jot them down, just in case this creative time passes as quickly as it came.  Roll with the punches, run with the ball. 

I'd better get back to it, before Girl wakes up and I'm back to real life.