Dreamers

I'm all for dreamers! I think everyone should have dreams and goals and ideas. I think it makes us all better people to have something to strive for and plan for. My problem comes in when your dream relies so heavily on the kindness of others that achieving it is impossible without them. I own a house with a large property. I wouldn't even CONSIDER doing so if I didn't think I could manage the work. Of course, I found out quickly that the amount of work was higher than I anticipated, but because of that, have spent many days this summer changing the property to become more manageable. BY MYSELF. I didn't call all my friends to do it for me (even if I could convince myself it would be fun for them), because I know that if I am incapable of doing it myself, there is no point owning it in the first place.

The same goes for people who have hobbies that they can't actually do themselves. Husband got into a discussion with his mother about this very topic. She loves having a large garden (mostly potatoes), but is really no longer capable of doing the majority of the work herself. She doesn't need to have a garden, she just likes having it. (If she needed to have a garden this would fall under the "taking care of your mother act") Having a hobby that relies on other people makes it no longer your hobby. Then your hobby is really delegating labour. I like knitted things, but I don't know how to knit. so even if I buy the patterns and the yarn and find someone else to do it for me, I cannot claim knitting is my hobby.

This especially becomes a problem if you expect others to do it for you for free. (Please don't think that buying beer or a pizza is fair compensation for a day of manual labour, because it isn't, it's really the absolute least you can do.) The only reason you should ever hope for people to come and help you is if you are equally willing to return the favour or have a skill they don't that you can repay them with.

My point is, if there is something you want to do (emphasis on YOU), whenever possible, do it yourself. If you actually NEED the help (not just want help because you don't feel like doing it all), make sure you compensate your friends accordingly. Otherwise, you'll soon find yourself with very few people willing to help.