Everything I know I learned from Parents Magazine

Mothers read too much. Yeah, I said it, and I'll say it again.

Obviously I don't really have problems with books in general, just the vast quantities of parenting books. For example, my absolute favourite book... "What to Expect When you are Expecting" (or as I like to call it "The-Absolute-Worst-Case-Survival-Handbook-Preying-On-The-Already-Hormonally-Insane"), I was already vaguely aware that alligator wrestling would be a bad idea while pregnant, but I really had no idea how many terrible, horrible things could happen because I painted my fingernails or crossed paths with a ladybug. Do we really need more fears? Please don't read it cover to cover, it'll just give you bad dreams. Here is some milk and off to bed with you.

The vast amount of information we are pelted with does come in handy though. I can prove almost ANYTHING if I use the internet, because really... someone out there is crazier than I am, and has already written about it.

I love reading about parenting, partly to get some good ideas, and partly for the "can't keep my eyes off the train wreck" fascination. I know I'm not a terribly experienced parent, but I had some pretty darn good ones myself, and I like to think I learned a bit from their good example, so when I read this in the latest copy of parents (and by "latest" I mean latest to me, as I have a hand-me-down subscription):

"Say your little monkey climbs on the coffee table. You tell her "No". Two minutes later, she does it again. Instead of distracting her, explaining why she shouldn't do that, or (worst of all) yelling, just move the table away."

MOVE THE TABLE? What? seriously? Why on earth would I move the table? I really don't think it would teach a child anything, and where would I put my feet while watching tv?

A long time ago my grandfather (a cabinetmaker) took on a volunteer job where he went to a "remote community" to teach cabinetmaking to the residents. One of the first things he was asked was "Where can we buy hinges that won't break when our kids swing on the cabinet doors?" My grandfather looked at them and said "Why don't you teach your kids not to swing on the cabinet doors?"

Is this what we've come to? Needing hinges that won't break, and moving the furniture out of the room rather than just teaching kids that some things are toys and other things are not? Let's hope not. I'd rather make sure "NO" means something.